


peach, pear, plum

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternian Flora, Fluff, Gen, Not Epilogues Compliant, Post-Canon, Worldbuilding(?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26761033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Original FFA Prompt: 100 words of large heavy purple fruit with neurotoxin spikesTwo trolls and a human prepare a fruit salad.
Relationships: Dave Strider & Kanaya Maryam & Terezi Pyrope
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12
Collections: Anonymous, Unofficial FFA Anon Collection





	peach, pear, plum

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Персик, груша, слива](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29044761) by [WTF All Space 2021 (fandom_AllSpace_2020)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_AllSpace_2020/pseuds/WTF%20All%20Space%202021)



Dave comes home to the godly base from a long day of Earth C bullshit to find Kanaya and Terezi have set up a fruit-preparing station smack dab in the center of the kitchen table. A cornucopia of mostly alien fruits fill the space with smells and shapes he only half-recognizes from some of the troll's shitty snack flavors back on the meteor, strewn about with no rhyme or reason he can follow.  
  
"Whatcha making?" he asks, sidling up to Kanaya's non-hacksaw-wielding arm as she works to disembowel some kind of oblong yellow seedpod on the cutting board. The smell reminds him faintly of citrus, but the rind is tough, like a squash, and the flesh apparently requires a serrated blade to remove from the shell. Across from her, Terezi cracks open shiny green fruits like oysters, discarding shells into an empty tin can labeled in Alternian script, "Toxic - Do Not Eat".  
  
"We are preparing a fruit salad," Kanaya tells him proudly, "from the harvest of our new greenhouse garden." She pauses briefly, to hack at a stubborn bit of rind. "Or, I suppose it's mostly mine. Jade helps, occasionally, but seems to prefer cultivating earth flora."  
  
"She liked the Alternian watermelons, though!" Terezi adds. She slurps a freshly-shucked fruit into her mouth directly, and Kanaya clears her throat, prompting a cheeky smile and a clatter of another discarded shell. "You know, it's funny how many fruits I used to think we had in common, really. Like oranges! Your earth ones are so weird and round."  
  
Dave nods. "What do Alternian oranges look like anyway? I think we talked about orangesicles, like, once, but you guys never alchemized any to try."  
  
"They're long and thin, and typically bittersweet if unseasoned." Kanaya finishes her citrus-squash-seedpod thing and begins dicing the pile of bright yellow flesh into cubes. "I believe the taste is not incomparable to Earth carrots?"  
  
"Huh," Dave says, and then gestures to the yellow fruit. "Hey, what's this one here, then?"  
  
"Banana."  
  
"The good kind, too," adds Terezi. "I can practically taste it from here!"  
  
Dave stares at the fruit, inhaling a citric-acid sweetness like sour candy that's gotten stronger since removing the rind. "Damn."  
  
"Would you like to assist us?" Kanaya says, rather suddenly. "We could always use an extra pair of hands. Vriska has regrettably declined, and Rose is somewhat occupied, at the moment."  
  
Dave shrugs. "Yeah, yeah, sure, no problem. A knight's gotta be chivalrous and all, I'll be at the beck and call of any choice dames who need me. Just point me at a fruit and I'll cut it, like I'm fully armed and it's some knave who just insulted your maidenly honor or some shit."  
  
Terezi cackles, tossing the shell of another green fruit. "Bold of you to assume the fearsome dragon has any maidenly honor!"  
  
"We appreciate the sentiment nonetheless." Kanaya surveys the table for a thoughtful moment, before moving another well-scarred cutting board where Dave can reach it. "Perhaps you can begin with the plum, here?"  
  
She points to a fruit resembling a swollen purple pineapple, sans stem and leaves. Oozing puncture wounds mark the sides at regular intervals, and a stripped and emptied coffee can sits beside it, though Dave can't read the label from where he's standing.  
  
"I've already taken the liberty of removing the spikes," Kanaya informs him, setting a cleaver on the board for him beside the 'plum'. "I've been told most humans are unused to such defenses, and that exotic fruit preparations as such may be beyond your expertise, but the rest of the fruit is fairly forgiving and simple to dissect."  
  
Dave would actually call his skill at cutting things up _hells of amazing_ , thank you very much; he's been slicing and dicing shit since baby Dave could hold a sword in his fat little baby hands. But instead of defending himself, he asks, like a chump: "Wait, hold up. The spikes?"  
  
"They inject a deadly neurotoxin on skin contact!" Terezi explains. "You can distill some interesting recreational substances out of them, but Kanaya decided we wouldn't, since Rose is around."  
  
"Ah," says Dave, as he rounds the table and steps up to the cutting board. From above, he can see the can is full of dark red barbs, like thick blackberry thorns, in a puddle of thin lavender liquid. The same warning label as before decorates the side, with the helpful addition, "Do Not Touch Without Gloves! This Means You, Terezi!"  
  
"Do not worry," Kanaya reminds him, helpfully. "The venom sacs are small and attached to the barbs, so you shouldn't encounter them while cutting."  
  
One of Terezi's green oyster fruits lets out a godawful sound like a small animal dying, and something black and chitinous and attached to way too many legs for comfort leaps out and skitters across the table. Kanaya stabs it as it crosses into range, then hands it back to Terezi, who bites off the head with relish.  
  
Dave stares down the purple ooze, which actually smells like the right fruit, for once. "Got it."  
  
(The resulting fruit salad is, if nothing else, extremely memorable.)


End file.
